Let's talk about sex!
At the mention of sex, many ears tingle. Some people manage
to whisper, "must he mention that sacred name in the public"?
This three letter words is indeed powerful. It is as
beautiful as its original purpose although it has been sadly abused in reality.
It has been widely misused hence, not spared by abuse and its consequences.
Some relationships have been practically reduced to
premarital sexual activities. Other relationships have been reduced to a shadow
of itself. While many are wishing that they never succumbed to the pressure of
premarital sex, others are confidently soaked in it.
In all, it should be noted that secretly, many people are
asking: "is sex love?". Many of these folks were in the camp of
thought that relationships should encourage sexual intimacy as long as the
partners consent to it whether they will end up marrying each other or not.
Sex is pleasurable! This pleasurable adventure could produce
more bonding to some people yet, plague others who just use it by accident and
out of context.
IS SEX LOVE ?
If love were to be a rainbow , could sex be one of the colors of love? To answer this, can I also ask, Would a man need to have sex with everyone he
claims he loves in order to proof that he loves them? Certainly NO! Therefore,
sex is not love. When reduced to a display of sexual adventure, a growing
relationship can loose its longevity, perspective and excitement. You need to
see how many relationships are failing daily.
A lady wants more from her man than sex. A man can give more
to her lady than sex but when premarital sex takes the center place in a
relationship, genuine romantic feelings are weakened. True love is rather
measured by proven substances. Where love genuinely happens, emphasis points to
building friendship and not rushing to the bedroom.
Premarital sex is an attack on communication life. A
relationship given to sex soon becomes robbed in communication. The partners
easily get encapsulated by the last sexual experience hence, easily fall back
to the act to liven their thoughts and memory. When sex is involved in a
relationship, the lady feels used and in a bid to maintain her importance,
would rather want to stick to the relationship even when it is a threat to her
future. Guys and ladies are wired differently. An average guy for instance is
easily drawn to a relationship if he can get sex from it while a lady easily
desires a relationship because she wants a lasting place in it. When the sex
marathon is over,would you still have a place in your relationship?
WHEN NOT TO SUCCUMB TO THE FIRE OF SEX IN A RELATIONSHIP
(1) When you are burdened with emotional pressure and all
you need an ease.
(2) When you feel convinced that a guy or lady has
everything you need in a wife or husband.
(3) When you feel that as a lady, you can tie down a guy
with a pregnancy.
(4) When as a lady, you feel that you are in your pregnancy
free period hence, can still have sex.
(5) When you feel that finally, you have seen a guy who has
proposed to marry you.
(6) When as a guy, you want to be sure that a lady has a
womb and can get pregnant before you would think of marrying her.
Sex is safe in the context of marriage. A condom is not a
guarantee of safe sex; marriage is. Never allow your emotions to sink down your
love. Love has feelings but every feeling does not suggest love in the air.
When sex leads a relationship, it controls its outcome.
AMAZING FACTS ABOUT PREMARITAL SEX
(1) Premarital sex is an eye opener: Long before sex was
involved, a relationship grows in value. It was easier for a guy to cover up a
lady's faults with love. But the guy now seems to change after he tasted the
private waters. This is because premarital sex has in itself the power to make
trivial errors sound big to the guy who now cares about a new sexual
experience.
(2) Guys are wired differently from the ladies. It is easier
for a guy to want a sexual partner than a relationship partner. This leaves the
guy with the possibility of loosing attraction easily from a sex partner to
crave for new sexual experiences from new partners.
(3) A relationship that exalts premarital sex exalts
disrespect:
It is difficult to respect the man that insists on your
nakedness as a lady. It is difficult to accord real value and respect to a lady
who puts in her energy to save a sexual experience and not a relationship.
(4) Premarital sex sets a wrong tone and standard for future
relationships: It reduces the guy to a perpetual sex hunter. He rather would
hunt for a better sex partner than a relationship partner. The guy suddenly
needs a lady that will perform in bed better than the previous lady who had
probably exhausted all the sex skills she had. Such guys hardly find true love.
(5) Premarital sex exposes the female partners to unwanted
pregnancy and increases the risk of STD.
(6) Premarital sex in a relationship shuts down the love
life of the partners. It wounds the heart faster in the case of a broken
relationship. Strong emotional and spiritual ties have been traced to premarital
sex. Many victims have found it difficult to move on with other relationships
later in life. That's because something in them keeps responding to the
person(s) that filled their sexual gap in the past.
(7) In another case, premarital sex shuts down affection and
romance. People who have sold their consciences to sex hardly know the ways of
true love. They hardly care about knowing it. They rather present their
emotions even when it's communication and caring time. They are hot in bed and
not in healthy communication and affection.
(8) Premarital sex magnifies self wants than mutual needs of
a relationship. It selfishly insists on pleasure and weakens interpersonal
trust within a relationship. A relationship doesn't need sex to survive.
Ladies, you can't keep a guy with sex. When he is tired of
the whole thing, he will dump you. Guys, give the lady a place in your heart.
Don't force her to the bedroom. Show her love and not the color of your pant.
Give her needed security and not some fast guilt.
HOW THEN CAN A RELATIONSHIP BE FREE FROM SEXUAL
INTERFERENCES ?
(1) Face that fear; Talk about it.
The mind is a powerful steering of human emotions. The mind
gate is the first gate that screens our emotions. Until it bribes its way
through your mind, emotions can always be handled in the mind level. Sex should
be discussed in a relationship and the partners should relieve their minds on
it and take a stand on it.
(2) Focus on love:
The concept of love should be understood and upheld. What keeps a relationship
going is not sex. A guy can still have sex with a lady he does not love. He is
simply maximizing a free opportunity to have fun.
(3) Stress on communication:
Relationship time is value adding time. It is a time to
explore the deep content of communication and build a security for the future
of your marriage. A healthy communication will strengthen a healthy focus for
your relationship. When lovebirds lose sight of communication, they try to fill
up the gap with sexual experiences.
(4) Define your relationship: Set clear boundary lines and
accept it in your mind. Avoid tight conditions that will force out compromise.
(5) Grow yourself emotionally: A relationship is weak
emotionally when the partners are weak emotionally.
In conclusion, wait for sex. It is worth waiting for! Ladies
can easily detect the tone and direction of sex activities than males. They can
say NO to sex easily than males. That's probably because it takes a more longer
time for a lady to be sexually aroused than the male. In that case, the lady
should use her security to insist on love and communication. She should use
that strength to distract the guy's attention from sex. Sex is worth waiting
for if a relationship is worth preserving.
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