Most of the people, before getting into relationship don’t consider one thing and that is the distance. They don’t think about the consequences, the idea of being into the relationship is way too fascinating. It’s the aftertaste of the relation when they realize how the distances are treating them
Here are some tips or some ideas or bypass to get over the sadness of distance and treat it fair:
1. It makes you feel independent
Yes! Not literally but yeah, it does. The biggest point about LDRs and the one that many people overlook is that it requires an insane amount of independent thinking. Had a hafty day and want to curl up with your special one? Well, that someone is having a busy day too across the country and wants the same but he/ she are still keeping it up to mark. Want to go try something new for the first time and wish your special someone were around to go with you? Well they aren’t, so maybe you should just go anyway.
Being in a romantic relationship with someone who isn’t physically with you (and is quite possibly in a different time zone, i.e. going to bed when you’re waking up, working when you’re going to bed) means that you have to operate independently. You have to do things how and when you want to, and get comfortable doing them alone or with friends.
2. Compromise becomes a part of your plans
You have been doing things the way you have always wanted but in LDR you learn to give up on some things quickly if that person means a lot to you. All relationships involve compromise, but because this type of relationship is filled with so many logistical complications — it becomes a constant game of compromise, and the only way to win is to be flexible.
3. Communication becomes your forte
Because you do not get to communicate physically and ever regular, it becomes important to communicate clearly and lovingly. You get better at listening to your significant other, and picking up on what he/she needs. You notice things in their voice that you may not have, if you weren’t so in tune with phone conversations that have come to be known as “dates”. The communication skills gained in your LDR follow you into your relationship even when you are physically together, making your bond an even better one.
4. You learn that life isn’t just about having the significant other
You learn this because you are deprived of the privilege of being absorbed completely in someone; you are forced to chill out with other people, make new friends, and grow in ways you may not have if you were constantly tied at the hip.
5. You learn to make yourself happy
This links back to number 1, but moves a step further. You will hit a point in your LDR when moping just doesn’t seem like an option anymore, and then you will really start learning what you’re made of. Knowing beyond the existing limits and thriving and being happy doing so is a life skill you learn.
6. You don’t wish to spend time on stupid fights
You don’t! You just can’t afford to! It’s kind of a math equation. Someone with 10 cupcakes might throw 6 of them out for stupid reasons, but someone with two is keeping them both. The time you have with your significant other is like two of the best cupcakes you’ll ever eat, and no way are you throwing them out because the frosting has temporarily pissed you off.
7. Your togetherness is precious
Every bit you spend with your significant other feels like an Instagram-worthy memory is being created and probably it is. Someone with 10 cupcakes might throw 6 of them out for stupid reasons, but someone with two is keeping them both. The time you have with your significant other is like two of the best cupcakes you’ll ever eat, and no way are you throwing them out because the frosting has temporarily pissed you off.
8. You make fabulous, whimsical plans and actually do them.
Some couples say “Hey baby, we should take a trip to ______ next year.” Well my long distance darlings, for you vacation is just part of your monthly check list. If you didn’t do it, you wouldn’t see each other. So sign up for those frequent flyer miles and stop looking at the draining savings account. You’re only young and in love (hopefully once?) and someday when you can’t go anywhere without finding babysitters and arguing with your boss, all of these crazy plans will seem like some of the best and most spontaneous fun you ever had.
9. You learn how to trust someone and have faith in something
Not only do you develop an insane amount of trust in them in the conventional ways, but you also really envision a future with this person. And that kind of forward planning and thinking can be so blissfully romantic. Well, which brings me to my last point here.
10. Things get serious. Fast
Worried you’re saying “I love you” too soon? Oh you most definitely are. But this isn’t a normal relationship, so just say it when you feel it. The beauty of long distance relationships is that you never really have to question someone’s intentions and feelings for you. If they are traveling hundreds or thousands of miles just to look in your eyes and hold your hand, you can be sure you’re very important, because if not, why would they be doing it? Think about it rationally!
Very interesting article. But sometimes distance is the most disappointing factor for some
ReplyDeleteWe agree, distances can be saddening but this is when you realize how much you love your significant partner.
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